SImCrime

Patents are ideas on paper. 

My intellectual properties on my website are computer data that prove my originality time date.

Whether or not an invention is patentable, this website can prove originality. Originality is necessary to get patents in most countries.
If anyone slanders me by saying  falsely that I am not the inventor, then I may sue them. In that effort, I may gain money from my inventions regardless of owning patents.


My i.p. are intended to be awarded venture capital from large companies, not ma and pop enthusiasts.  If I solicit to a company, then it is determined that the company has declined or rejected my bid if the company either says no or if it does not say yes or has no response. Every moment a company does not say yes are moments that the company has declined until the company says yes to form a negotiation agreement.


I have one year from time of invention published public to go patent pending or to sell my co-sign to file a patent application with an investor company.

According to:

47-25-1217. Bond of developer.

 I must own a bond that is worth at least $25,000, SO THEREFORE, I hereby state that I do not offer any invention services, and instead require an innitial  payment of approx $25,000 from an investor as a blatant unrelated business grant or loan, in order to begin offering invention services. Before such a money is presented, no invention services are available.

If I have obtained a bond money then If an investor contacts me, I say:

"My fee to be charged is an amount that can be described as $10,000 for weak-inventions and $1,000,000 for strong-inventions, as a flat fee, plus I will require a negotiable royalty percentage of invention product sales prices that may be 50%. None of such money paid will be spent on patent work or to  other partners, as the investor will be responsible to pay all patent fees. I do not intend to expend more for the patent fees than payment to me. Zero investors, as investors are customers, have yet invested, and none such have profited."  "Any contract for invention development services between you and SimcrimeCom will be regulated by law. SimcrimeCom is not qualified or permitted to advise you whether protection of your idea or invention is available under the patent, copyright, or trademark laws of the United States or any other law. The contract does not provide any patent, copyright, or trademark protection for your idea or invention. If your idea or invention is patentable, copyrightable, or subject to trademark protection, or infringes an existing valid patent, copyright, or trademark or a patent, copyright, or trademark for which application has been made, your failure to inquire into these matters may affect your rights to your idea or invention." 

(47-25-1204. Initial disclosures to customer by developer)

Each contract must be written to say: 

 "The seven-day period during which you may cancel this contract for any reason by mailing or delivering written notice to the invention developer will expire on _________________ (Last date to mail or deliver notice)

      If you choose to mail your notice, it must be placed in the United States mail properly addressed first class postage prepaid and postmarked before twelve o'clock midnight (12:00) of this date. If you choose to deliver your notice to the invention developer directly, it must be delivered to that party by the end of that party's normal business day on this date. The invention developer also has the right to cancel this contract by notice similarly mailed or delivered."

And each contract must say: describe whether or not a prototype is to be built and/or sold,, person names and business entity names, mailing addresses, statement of intent to spend or not spend received payment amount on extra invention investing if so then estimated amount, "speculated profit is based on market analysis", number of other investors contracted and number of investors who have profited,  "I am required to record paperwork for atleast 3 years after contract expires. Such record will be viewable to copy by investor's expense at inventor's premises during normal business hours within 7 days of notice placed in 1st class mail.",  expected date of completion, name and address of notary public if used, "This contract between you and the invention developer is regulated by law. The invention developer is not qualified or permitted to advise you whether protection of your idea or invention is available under the patent, copyright, or trademark laws of the United States or any other law. This contract does not provide any patent, copyright, or trademark protection for your idea or invention. If your idea or invention is patentable, copyrightable, or subject to trademark protection, or infringes an existing valid patent, copyright, or trademark or a patent, copyright, or trademark for which application has been made, your failure to inquire into these matters may affect your rights to your idea or invention." "The invention developer shall deliver to the customer at the address specified in the contract, at quarterly intervals throughout the term of the contract, a written statement of the services performed to date; provided, that the first such statement need not be delivered until one hundred eighty (180) days after the contract is executed."

Each contract must have a cover sheet that says:

"The following disclosures are required by law:

      You have the right to cancel this contract for any reason at any time within seven (7) days from the date you and the invention developer sign the contract and you receive a fully executed copy of it. To exercise this option, you need only mail or deliver to this invention developer written notice of your cancellation. The method and time for notification is set forth in this contract immediately above the place for your signature. Upon cancellation, the invention developer must return by mail, within five (5) business days, all money paid and all materials provided by you.

      This contract between you and the invention developer is regulated by law. The invention developer is not qualified or permitted to advise you whether protection of your idea or invention is available under the patent, copyright, or trademark laws of the United States or any other law. This contract does not provide any patent, copyright, or trademark protection for your idea or invention. If your idea or invention is patentable, copyrightable, or subject to trademark protection, or infringes an existing valid patent, copyright, or trademark or a patent, copyright, or trademark for which application has been made, your failure to inquire into these matters may affect your rights to your idea or invention."

308. Cucumber Trick brand

Cucumber Trick is a new design-patent-worthy septic system that is extremely easy and affordable to install. Customers might buy them for farmhouses, hunting cabins, guesthouses and anywhere that needs a modern water running toilet that is very affordable. 

WARNING* It is illegal to install septic systems in some states without a permit.

Cucumber Tricks may not be installed in some states, however many countries need fast easy affordable septic systems.

Cucumber Tricks are either a single kit, or a kit that has a short-cap-tube-arm instead of a tube-arm with no elbow pipe. 

Cucumber Tricks resemble a trashcan with lid. The users simply opens the trashcan like tank, plastic or metal, and inside is 2 tube-arms, 1 elbow pipe, 1 waterproof glue caulk. The users digs a hole for the tank to fit, glues the tube-arms to ports, glues the elbow pipe to port and glues the lid to top. Already on top of lid is screw port for optional pumping out to drain sewage from tank. User places tank in ground with tube-arms angled down. Tube-arms are covered under and over with gravel not included. Dirt is placed over unit. Toilet pipe is glued to elbow pipe. Users hook up water to toilet and simply flush into Cucumber Trick. 

Tube arm is perforated tube that has aluminum screen mid section. Tube arms attach to 2 ports to allow black water to spill yet prevent rocks and debris from clogging discharge. The short cap tube arm is similar to tube arm however short cap tube arm only connects to one port and has a screen closed tip. Tube arms are burried in the ground aimed down, lower than ports, so that rainwater will less likely flood tank, as tube arm perforations are not located very near ports.

Cucumber Trick kits are approx 75 gallons capacity so one is good for about normal use of one person. To add an extra Cucumber Kit, user simply uses Add-on kit to add another capacity tank to other capacity tank. 

Cucumber Trick could be paired with a catchmet rainwater catcher barrel and a plastic toilet for impressive off the grid luxuries.

309. Non-Evaporative Plug

The NEP is a device that allows water catchmet rain collector barrels to automatically seal after catching water so that the water inside will not evaporate. Many common rain barrel systems have simply only a water barrel with a hole on top and a gutter tube, which means water escapes during the day. The NEP traps in the water like a closed plug, yet allows more rain to come in till its full, locked closed automatically. That means April showers could be waiting in the August sun all those months without touching the barrel since.

I have devised 4 models that simply screw onto and rest ontop water containment jug barrel crates.

309.1 The weight uses gravity to seal the jug by pulling up the interior cap plate only until the cup fills with water volume which outweighs the weight causes water to fall into the container. The interior cap plate is floatation matetial with rubber gasket.

309.2 Uses a spring to close the seal until the water volume of cup spills down into container by water outweighing strength of stainless steel spring.

309.3 Uses a floater object tied to hinged seal plate so that when water fills cup, the force of the floatation pulls the seal plate up away from its rubber gasket so that water rushes in until the cup is depleted which causes the seal plate to seal again.

309.4 is similar as 309.3, however 309.4 uses a weight instead of a spring to close seal, as though the seal plate itself is a weight that is lifted up momentarily by a submersed floatation object attached to it, when it is raining.

310. SimcrimeCom Jumpsuit

It is a typical jumpsuit, however the zipper does not stop there. The zipper line starts at normal chest area and goes past crotch around buttox to back tailbone area. Instead of needing to take entire jumpsuit off to sit on the toilet, users could unzip the butt area to sit on toilet.

Slogan: "Jumpsuits can now be worn sitting on toilets."

311. Just Add Water Breakfast Cereal

It is packaged grain cereal that is coated with dehydrated milk.

The user simply pours cereal and water into a bowl, as the water mixes with the powder coating to form milk in the bowl with cereal. The cereal could also be coated with sugar or no sugar.

312. Just Add Water Breakfast Cereal Pancake Bowl

JAWBC Pancake Bowl is a hollow bowl-insert shaped grain cracker that is filled with dried milk powder. The complete product resembles a small cracker cake, covered on all sides with cereal grain with dried milk inside. Users either place the cake in a bowl or crumble the cake in a bowl, before adding water. Added water will begin to soften the cracker and turn the powder into milk at the same time.

313. Solar Float Still

It is a water purifier device that can turn salt water into drinking water, or reservoir water into drinking water, using very little electricity. It can be desribed as an upside down window bucket that has a non-opaque top section, where bottom and top sections are gapped together by a breezeway, as bottom section is open, floating on water surface via a floation ring rim. The bottom section, glass or plastic, allows the sun's rays to heat the bottom section, causing steam. The steam rises to the top section that is insulated, cooled and non-opaque where it turns back to liquid, prevented from falling back to the bottom section, and instead flows to a water container compartment. The topic section can be cooled by an insulated water pump that cycles water in it's walls and out. The cooler device could also be a peltier thermoelectric cooler. If the peltier is cooled via water pump cycling, then the outtake could drip onto the open-contained water surface of the bottom section. In the bottom section, an electric heating element could additionally heat the open-contained surface water, or could not. A solar panel on top can power either pump, peltier and/or heating element.

314.  Three Fourteen Dehydrated Meal

It is a dehydrated meal like no other in a way that involves it's storage, and perhaps activation. The food meal is any type of common food, within a plastic case shell, that is macaroni cheese or sandwich, or soup or spagetti meatballs, etc. It is dehydrated and sealed, attached with a separate sealed sugar beverage powder or not, and attached with any other segragated items including deserts or sides or not. The plastic unit encasing is special because it has a water pour chamber that measures needed water added with increment markings of a fill line, and that flexible port attaches to a water bottle's top so that it can remain together until the meal unit is taken off the water bottle, and then the water is poured into the chamber, and the chamber fills the plastic encasing. The meal could be eaten hours after water activated or perhaps in the instant. 

No other dehydrated food meal product has ever attached to a water bottle like 314, meaning 314 is an original invention.

315. Farmer Dog .And Cat Pet Food

It is a new type of pet food that specifically contains growable plant seeds inside the pet food nuggets so that pets with big yards will poop out the seeds that use the poop as fertilizer to grow into healthy plants. 

Varieties of pet food models could feature seeds including, barley seeds, strawberry seeds, echinacea seeds, fruit tree seeds and more.

316. Humungous Sunflower Seed

It is a new type of food item that resembles one giant sunflower shell seed. To make it, a mold of a large shell is embedded with seasoned sunflower seed butter to dry. Inside the shell's containment, a large dried sunflower seed butter ball is placed. It could be about the size of a mango seed and mango.

317. Counter Predator Robotic Animal

CPRA is a robotic animal machine, radio controlled or autonomous, cat or dog or kangaroo, etc. that is special because under it's thin synthetic fur is an extremely toxic layer that is so poisonous that all animals die if they bite into the layer. Even rattlesnakes would die from tasting the material when the robotic animal strolls at night in the yard.

318. Solmer Jacket

The Solmer Jacket (solar thermal) is a futuristic new type of jacket to stay warm. It is made of a plastic/rubber waterproof exterior, and the interior wearing layer is cloth. The exterior plastic unit is an inflatable/deflatable balloon type chamber in the shape of a wearable jacket. Inside the plastic balloon is a black surface against the wearer's back, and a clear surface at most exterior. If the most exterior layer is not entirely clear (some models have entirely clear exterior surface, some models have window segments)  then it contains window segments. Reflective silver matetial may also be inside the balloon, which intensifies light heat trapped in the balloon. The users blows into the jacket to inflate it.

318.1 Battery Solmer Jacket

A fan switches to inflate or deflate at the push of a button.

318.2 Solar Power Solmer Jacket

A solar panel in the jacket powers on an inflator fan or deflates.

318.3 Solar Battery Solmer Jacket 

The same as SPSJ however the battery can power leds within the jacket at night.

318.4 Floatation Solmer Jacket

It is designed so that wearer's weight in water will float, with crotch strap.

318.5 Air Purifier Solmer Jacket

It uses a filter and photocatalyst to purify the air, battery powered or solar powered.

319. Fragrance Cell Phone Case

It is a cell phone case that is designed to contain a perfume/cologne/essence oil spray bottle within the case so that users can mist fragrance holding their cell phone. Cartridge model and disposable model.

319.1 Auto FCPC

The smartphone connects to the cell phone case via usb. A motor pumps out fragrance sprays at the push of a button with app, and when a specific contact number messages or calls then the fragrance sprays alike ringing and vibrating. Single fragrance model or multi fragrance model. Multi fragrance works with the app to program different scents for different number contacts.